Why!

do I feel so empty? I meann I got all my friendss and junk but something is still missing! i'm not too sure on what it is.. IF ONLY I KNEW. But if I did knew, then it wouldn't be missing anymore right?.. Blahelaknnnndie. I HATE SCHOOL. Every time I go by my lockers (where all the asians are) I don't even feel right anymore.. It's like slowly I'm getting further and more uncomfortable with them.. I'm graduating early, I'm stressing, I'm lost and confused. I don't know what to do! Family dramas is occurring right now.. My friends are missing! Lately, I have been finding out more news about my past friends.. The long lost ones that just disappeared from my life back in elementary. Uhm, so far most of them remembers me. Except for these twins.. I hatee remembering someone and they don't remember me. I feel stupid for remembering them.. I wannted to be friends with them, but considering the fact that they don't remember me. No point. I miss my kindergarten friend Cody&Thai. Especially Cody.. during nap times he would ALWAYS makes me laugh.. But after that grade.. I never saw him again.. And Thai. After 1st grade.. he disappeared. GAAH. Why do people just leavee? But I guess. I hate being close friends with someone and all of a sudden they stop talking to you. I mean.. what the hell? Is that really necessarily? To just stop talking to me cause maybe you got another friend or something? BUT I guess I can understand that tooo. Schoool made me so boringgg!. Lol, I think I'm boring. VERY BORING. But what can I do.. I don't even have that much time to do things anymore. I'm scared school might make me turn into a nerd, and I'm no longer my usual self anymore.. :[ Sigh.. And about that guy that I like. I have no hope. Me thinking this way, is making me like him less.. But then again, I'm probably liking him less cause I haven't been talking to him in awhilee or see him. Well that's weird? It's only been a couple of weeks that I havent seen him and I already feel this way? Imagine if he was in the marines! That's like YEARS. How else would I feel like now.. My brain hurts. I THINK WAAAAAAY TOO MUCH. I think I would have to blame my.. low self esteem. It's not going so well. I wish I would of have lived in a place with more variety of people.. Like not just ALL viets or something jeez. Iono. And the place to hang out here is very limited. I would like to go outside and play for once without being kidnapped. But if even I could of have.. who would I play with? Myself??! No one really lives in my neighborhood. Just old people.. Lol. Sighh. I REALLY FEEL EMPTY. Likee I'm just sitting on my bed with nothing to do. I'm tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of always writing my blog in emo form. Lately, I haven't been truly happy. I wonder what it is.. And as for the friend who doesn't really talk to me anymore. I think I'm replaced. Lol.. OHH, how I HATE that feelingggg soo much.. I need a vacation smoewhere! Out of the country!! Maybe, I need a new start in my life somewhere.. Where I don't know anyone. And just start off fresh.. But that would just make me more lonelier. Well.. I don't know. IDK anything anymore. Lol.. sigh.